


Hold You Close

by ScarletteStar1



Series: I WILL FIND YOU- AU and Canon Divergent Stories about OTPs Reaching Across Time and Space To Be Where They Belong [10]
Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: AU, Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Love, One Shot, hurt comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 14:32:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16097591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletteStar1/pseuds/ScarletteStar1
Summary: In this Carol AU, Therese and Carol find themselves in an awkward situation when their husbands conduct business together. Old wounds are opened for Carol and Therese as they attempt to explore new ways for healing and moving forward.





	Hold You Close

The lavish condo was enormous.

They had hardly run into one another.

Therese was beginning to think she might get away with not having to spend any time at all with Carol on this trip. No sooner had she uttered her grateful sigh at this prospect, than Richard appeared with the excited announcement that Harge was hosting a lobster dinner that evening out on the veranda.

“Then you girls can go for a stroll or sit in the hot tub with some champagne while Harge and I put the final touches on our presentation for tomorrow. Therese, we’ve really got this thing nailed down! I hope you’re enjoying the island life, because I think we will be spending a lot more time down here.”

Therese’s sigh of relief turned into a sigh of something entirely different. Richard had mixed his business and pleasure like a cocktail that was going down super smooth, and Therese wanted to be just as thrilled for her new husband. She did. But as she walked out onto her balcony and looked out over the turquoise sea, she felt something much closer to misery.

If Carol was perturbed in any way, she certainly hadn’t let on. She slipped in and out of cars and shops and pools and outfits and salons with ease. She’d barely taken note of Therese, nor had she taken note Therese was avoiding her. She seemed to be enjoying her vacation by keeping busy with swimming and tennis and shopping. Occasionally she even played a game of golf. Therese had never learned to do any of these things particularly well. She could barely doggy paddle, and she’d never even held a golf club, let alone swung a tennis racket. And although Richard had given her a wallet full of traveller’s checks to shop with, she found herself much more content sitting in a chair on the beach with a book.

It was a strange thing, Therese thought, how Carol could seem equally at ease in almost any setting. At supper, Therese watched her sip a martini with one hand while she used the other to slosh a pearly bit of lobster meat through a dish of butter. She managed to navigate the piece of food into her ruby lined lips without getting a drop of grease on her strapless, satin cocktail dress. As she swallowed with a satisfied little smile, she noticed Therese watching her, and she licked her lips before dabbing at them with her napkin.

“Do you enjoy lobster, Therese,” Carol purred across the table.

“Actually, I’m allergic,” Therese replied. “It makes me violently ill.” She sliced a small piece of her steak and put the meat into her own mouth, chewing slowly and carefully while desperately frightened she would choke and make a terrible scene.

“Pity, that,” Carol smiled and drank the rest of her martini. The waiter seemed to anticipate this and set another down almost immediately.

The men insisted they “go out and play,” while they worked.

Therese took Richard aside and tried to plead a headache.

“Come on now, Terry,” he said. “This is a huge opportunity for us and I don’t want Harge thinking you’re too stuck up to hang out with his wife. They’re good people and this could be really good for us. Please?” He patted her shoulder and kissed her cheek. Therese bit her lip.

Carol suggested a walk.

The sea quietly hushed itself against the shore and the sky sparkled with stars. They kicked off their shoes and left them by the dunes as they walked down toward the water.

“You don’t like me much, do you?” Carol asked.

“Why would you say that?”

“I think you make it pretty clear. You hardly even want to look at me anymore, Therese.”

Therese swallowed hard and said, “I, I don’t know how to be.”

“Well, do you want to talk about it, or do you want to pretend it never happened and keep going like this?”

“Neither option seems particularly pleasant.”

“Not particularly, no,” Carol sighed.

“Anyway, you seem to be doing fine. You’re having quite the vacation, enjoying yourself and all.”

“Oh, Therese,” she exhaled and stopped walking. She threw her head up at the sky and shook it as though she were incredulous at the presence of the stars. “I have to keep myself busy every moment so I don’t fall apart entirely. You think this has been ‘fine’ for me? Well it hasn’t. Not by a long shot.”

“I wish we never had to see each other at all ever again,” Therese offered.

“And I wish we had to see each other every second of every day always,” Carol countered. “What do you think about that?” She reached for Therese’s hand, but Therese pulled it away. Therese looked around as though she were frightened someone would see them. “There’s no one here, Therese.”

“What if Harge and Richard come out?”

“They won’t. When Harge is here on business, he works all night and the same goes for whoever is working for him. Richard probably won’t even come to bed tonight. They’ll be up like a couple of kids before Christmas getting ready for this thing.” She smiled at the thought of it, but she pulled her hand back and the two of them kept walking down the beach.

“Of all the people Richard had to take a job with,” Therese said.

“Right,” Carol replied with a light but bitter chuckle.

“You know, I thought I was going to die, that night we came to your place in Manhattan? I had no idea you were married to Richard’s new business associate.” Therese paused and scoffed, “I mean, I didn’t even know you were married at all, did I? I swear, I almost died of shock when I saw you there in that velvet dress, passing out champagne and shrimp toasts. I honestly thought my heart was going to stop, but it didn’t. Then I wished my heart was going to stop, but it didn’t. Every night I’d go to sleep and pray I wouldn’t wake up so I didn’t have to deal with this mess.”

“Oh, Therese,” Carol said. “I’m so sorry. You’ll never know how sorry I am.”

“And why are you sorry, Carol? Because you hurt me, or because you got caught?”

“I never meant to hurt you, Therese.”

“I don’t suppose it matters now.”

“It matters to me,” Carol turned and picked up Therese’s hand before Therese could whip it away. “It matters very much. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you. I wanted to say something before you married Richard. I was scared you were doing it just to spite me, and then I felt foolish for thinking that so I didn’t say anything at all. But every day I think of what I could say or how I could say it and my words all feel so hopeless.” Carol took a step closer to Therese and put her hands on her waist. She caressed her hips and pulled her closer. “Oh, God, if I could just hold you again,” she whispered into Therese’s ear as she nuzzled her neck. “If only I could hold you and show you exactly how I feel and what you mean to me. If only I could hold you close, Therese, so close.”

“You are holding me, Carol,” Therese murmured as her arms encircled Carol’s back.

“And yet, how can it be?” Carol asked. She pressed her lips against Therese’s neck and jaw. “I never dreamed we’d be this close again. Did you?”

“No,” Therese said.

“Oh, Darling, I’ve missed you,” Carol wept. She nipped at Therese’s lips and held her head in her hands. “Tell me you’ve missed me too. I need to hear it.”

“Carol,” Therese moaned against Carol’s lips. A wave crashed enthusiastically at their feet and startled them back. “I can’t do this. We can’t.” Therese stepped away from Carol and smoothed her hands over her dress and hair. Already she was grieving the loss of Carol’s arms around her.

“We can and we will!” Carol insisted. She grabbed Therese by the hand and pulled her down the beach.

“Where are we going?”

“I know a place,” Carol said. She led Therese to a dark cabana a ways off. The door slid easily open and the two women ducked in. “Don’t worry. We own this too. No one will come here at this hour,” she said when she saw Therese’s concerned expression. They sat down, close to one another on a rattan sofa.

“I should get back,” Therese whispered.

“You should stay with me,” Carol said and slipped her hands onto Therese’s face so she could pull it to her own and kiss her. Therese stiffened. “Do you want me to stop?” Carol asked.

“No,” Therese said. She put her hands on Carol’s waist and gave in to the kiss.

Carol opened Therese’s mouth with her tongue and twirled it against her. “How about now? Do you want me to stop now?”

“No,” Therese said and allowed her hand to find and cup Carol’s breast, allowed her fingers to feel through the silky material of her dress that Carol’s nipple was already hard and tight.

Carol pushed Therese back on the couch and laid herself on top of her. Their bodies wiggled against each other as they kissed and stroked and sought to recreate all their favorite sensations and sounds. “And now? Shall I stop?” Carol hissed.

“No,” Therese whimpered as she dug her fingers into Carol’s back. “Don’t ever stop. Please don’t ever ever stop.”

But Carol did stop. She looked into Therese’s eyes that shone in the darkness of the cabana. “I missed you so much. My heart ached for you with every beat. Please don’t ever believe for a moment that it didn’t.”

“I missed you too,” Therese said. Carol rested her head on Therese’s shoulder.

“You know I love you, Therese.”

“What?”

“Yes. It’s true. I loved you then and I love you now and I’ll love you until my rotten heart really does stop beating.” Carol kissed Therese’s chest.

“But I thought-“

“Never mind what you thought,” Carol said and laced her fingers into Therese’s. “This is what’s true. Now you know.”

“Carol,” Therese began, but instead of speaking, she covered Carol’s lips with her own and kissed her hard and long and deep. “Whatever will we do?” She asked at last.

“Oh, I have some ideas,” Carol said and she sounded quite confident. “I was thinking you needed tennis lessons. And then I could possibly teach you golf.”

“Carol, I’m not really interested in either of those-“

“Hush!” Carol commanded with a flick of her eyebrow and a wink. Therese giggled as the scheme became suddenly clear to her.

“But we can’t go on like that forever. I’ll always want more. Sneaking away after dinner and pretend tennis lessons won’t ever be enough for me.”

“We’re here now,” Carol said. She picked up Therese’s hand and pressed a kiss into her open palm. “We’ll figure it all out, but for right now we’re here and that has to be enough.”

They wrapped themselves around each other and held each other close until just before the sun came up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is a bit of a different take on my Carol stuff, so I hope it was to your liking! I absolutely adore comments, so feel free to say hi! xoxo.


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